conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
