I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
