Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
