I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
