I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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