i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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