'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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