I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Did I show you my penis last night?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
