their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Randomize
