VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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