the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
