I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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