Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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