Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
