It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
