its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
