No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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