Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just want nice things and good sex
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
