just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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