Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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