yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
