I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
