just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
