im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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