she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
