You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
