I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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