I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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