The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
