I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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