so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
