i permit you to call me
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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