why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
