i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
