we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
