you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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