I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
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Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
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I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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