My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize