we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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