You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
