I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
