apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
