the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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