Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
