It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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