$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
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well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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