If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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