operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
