I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
