Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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