Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
