We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize