I just pynch a tree in the face
I think im going to throw up on grandma
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
