Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
