we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
