Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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