Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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