and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
