Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize