She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I touched a dick in church today
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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