I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
